True but thats because hes a fetus.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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