the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I showed him my bush... on skype.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
