There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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