the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
