i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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