Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Less talking, more tequila
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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