I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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