happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
