she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
