Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
