No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
