i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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