I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
