pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize