I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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