if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
