He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
