I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
