Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
