Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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