so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
