Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
