Pappa wants mamma naked
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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