I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
