I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
