oh god the rape fog is back!
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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