That's when you crack a 10am beer
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize