I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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