dude i'm inner monologue high
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
