Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
