are you still at the devil's house?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
