there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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