Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize