Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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