I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize