Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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