I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize