I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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