If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
