Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize