4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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