Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?