im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
