Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.