I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner