i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It's rum buckets o'clock
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
