remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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