But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
