I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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