The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She's JV to your varsity
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This house was built for laser tag.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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