nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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