Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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