So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
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His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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