I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
