i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize