Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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