Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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