I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
