He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
