so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
