My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
