Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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